1. Open the box, remember you’re supposed to TAP and unwrap.
2. Give it a little tap… nothing.
3. Notice it now says whack and unwrap.
4. Whack it against the table… nothing.
5. Get pissed off, throw it against the wall… nothing.
6. Throw it on the floor… nothing.
7. Run up the stairs(oo good exersize!) and throw it down stairs making sure it bounces down each step… STILL NOTHING!
8. Wonder if this is a sign that you should eat something healthy for dinner and not chocolate.
9. Think you’re too lazy for that, but then think you’re too lazy to try and get into this damn thing as well!
10. Try bashing it against the wall again… chip paint on the wall, oopsie. But still nothing!
11. Throw a hissy fit, get mad, smash it repeately(sp?) against the side of a table.
YAYYYY! It breaks!
12. Breathe a sigh of relief, open it, to find some bits are still bloody stuck together!!
13. Think about complaining, as it’s too way too much effort which felt like ages when you had a craving for chocolate.
14. Eat some then think ahhhh I guess it was worth all that mmm!
15. Five hours later laugh as your friend Kira suggests hitting it with a hammer.
16. Wonder why Kira would have a hammer laying around, or why she thinks I would have a hammer laying around!
17. Wonder if that’s why Kira hasn’t visited for ages and wants to bring her boyfriend next time.
18. Feel fat after eating a whole chocolate orange!
19. Hope the neighbours didn’t hear all the banging and think I was murdering someone/beating up my husband, lol!
20. Remember to buy a hammer next time I buy a chocolate orange!
21. Think of all the exersize I got whilst running up stairs, and doing all the throwing around.
Bloody chocolate oranges eh?
And yes all of that actually happened, bloody frustrating when you’re hungry so look for something to eat in the kitchen and find a yummy dark chocolate orange mmmm my fave!
I’m still hungry though, grr. I can eat junk food all day and not get filled up, yet I try and eat a meal and can’t even eat half of it? Stupid body!
That’s a blog I wrote years ago obviously, seeing as I’m no longer married/don’t have a husband.